Sun Downing

Sun Downing

As the Chiang Mai sun sinks behind the mountain I start pondering humanity. Overtly I'm holding fast to the ideal that the meaning if life is life, however what we call reality keeps presenting me with challenges to this paradigm.

For example, if the sole purpose of life, thus its meaning, was to procreate, we (males) would die, or as in some insect societies, be killed, after we planted our seeds. We'd never see our offspring or even know if we were successful. Females, who science tells us, have only a limited amount of eggs and time in which to have them fertilized, would not live very long after they stopped producing ova.

So while I fundamentally believe that universally "Life," both within and beyond the limits in which humanity understands it, recreates itself ad infinitum, because that is its primary, if not sole purpose, the evidence within the human condition, seems to contradict this belief.

Humans don't do this. I can't really speak for plants; but I don't think that plants stop reproducing after a certain number of seasons. I'm pretty sure mammals don't stop either, unless they are stopped. 

Humans are mammals, and while humans haven't been completely stopped from reproducing, the species has certainly been institutionally encouraged to curtail its breeding.

Who knows, if left to nature, perhaps humans would reproduce in much greater numbers, and maybe die soon after their reproductive years came to an end?

This is where we reach a fork in the road; I could go off into how humanity allegedly had been tampered with and thus when considering the meaning of (human) life we cross the line between nature and manipulation, or I can  - take the blue pill and go back to pondering the greater meaning of life, after life... so to speak.

Life after fulfilling our natural duties of procreation, or life having rejected or otherwise having been excused from what I theorize as being, "natural" to living.

[Note: Not knowing who will read this or if it will be read, I feel the need to add a PC disclaimer for all those who have chosen not to have children, or to whom, for some reason nature has not allowed this to happen, yet. This is not to criticize you for your choices. It's just some thoughts and they come from my limited and admittedly biased perspective.]

Back to the sunset.

I think that traffic makes me think about life. It's rush hour and humans are in various stages of hurry to get some place. I'm not very far removed from this scenario and there are equal pangs of guilt, satisfaction and relief, that I can stroll along the side of the highway, observe the traffic going by, watch the sun set, or not, work out in a park, or not; and then sit in the food court of a mall in a country on the other side of my world, and write about it from the perspective of an outsider... or more accurately, and escapee.

The program; that allows me to do this is not available everywhere or to everyone. For me it was a matter of luck and timing and a few strategic decisions. But that's another story.

As I wander the lanes and alleys of Chiang Mai's inner mote area I take in the wide variety of humans in various roles of life's corporeal drama.

I took a little solo foot tour around the parameters of the city today. The east side seemed very occidental. First worlders, all of them Caucasian gathered in pubs, taverns or diners to socialize as they were served by locals. Elsewhere travelers, tourists, groups, browsed shops and outdoor markets amidst the rush of motorcycles, transport trucks, cars and vendor carts.

It made me wonder what this humanity thing is all about?  If someone were to ask me why I was here, I'd have a hard time giving an honest answer. "On holiday." Or maybe, "On sabbatical." Sounds better.

I am not even five full months into Freedom Year and I'm wondering if this lifestyle is sustainable, both economically and in terms of activity. I'm not used to doing anything I want to. I'm not used to not having a "job," and even making the clips seems to have become unfulfilling; although this might prove to be a temporary situation.

So why are we here? Don't answer. I don't want to burden you with humanity"s reason to exist. Let us simply ponder our own reasons to be; our individual purposes in life.

As many loyal readers and listeners know, I've signed a 200+ year lease for this body. I knew there was a twist to it. Nonetheless I'm in for the full ride. With a long term commitment like that I could take a decade or two to really do some soul searching and learning and come up with or create something meaningful, or even discover what meaning is.

Another question I've asked myself, is what the people I see around me, want out of life? Are their wants really their own wants or what they've been conditioned to want?

A driver was parked in his three-wheeled cab, it has a name, but I forgot it, relaxing in the back seat. On his lap was a mainstream fashion magazine. On the cover was a glamorously airbrushed... I'm sorry, Photoshopped couple. They looked very glossy and happily looked off of the cover and up into the the tired driver's imagination as if to ask, "Don't you want to be like us?" And I wondered what his dreams are? How hard did he hustle to get that driving gig? Does he own the vehicle?

For the travelers and backpackers, I wonder if Chiang Mai is a dream destination, another stop along the way, or a regular pilgrimage.

I never heard of Chiang Mai until I got here, but I dig.

And not to diss the apparent ruling class out of hand, I wonder what brought them here too? Did they have dreams that were easier to realize here? Was it an economic decision? How tricky is it for ex-pats to come to Thailand, own property and businesses? They might have been small business owners in their home countries who had to leave?

My fundamental belief is that we are here to continue life, however, it would seem that "society" it's an abstract - suggests we are here to expend energy, which is then converted into currency - (whatever is "currently" negotiable) and divide amongst our peers, representatives of (another abstract) "government" and our lessers, who are "unable" (sometimes unwilling) to convert their energy into currency.

We call this, economics.

What seems to be happening in our current system, and this is relatively recent, (like industrial revolution recent), is that economics is challenging nature; or perhaps the other way around.

If it is our; (humanity's) nature, as life to continue life, but the population (or certain elements there of) is considered economically burdensome; in other words, if each and every human on this planet is evaluated and assessed as to how much currency/wealth "it" can generate during its lifetime as opposed to how much resources it will consume during that lifetime, and it is determined that the latter is greater (said group consumes mire than it contributes) therein lies the conflict. There is an economic deficit that must be addressed.

The powers that be would like to use the human resource until it can no longer function and then discard it, and charge the family for its disposal. In some places this happens. Even in white collar environments, the human resource is used, stressed, threatened in the name of motivation, damaged and discarded... and compensated in paper and ink, of which a significant percentage is skimmed off to the state.

So again, I ask. Why are we here? If you're not here to continue life and you're not here to generate wealth, why are you here?

Do you know why I write? I write because I think. Writing helps me to link what seems like random thought waves together. When that happens answers come. Sometimes they are not the right answers, but they at least sound feasible.

We're here to make the middle a little more beautiful, a little more bearable. If nature vs. the artificial construct of economics are mountains, our art, our creativity, our laughter, our emotions are the valleys that protect us from much of the fallout.

Those people in their vehicles heading home, or to school or work, hopefully have something of their own as motivation to get them there.

As for me, whatever this ramble did for you, or to you, even if it killed the time it took you to read it - that time you will never get back... that's why I'm here.